Emily Berry.
Journal Entry:
Thu Nov 19, 2009, 9:25 PM
(Call me a slut, or whatever you like, but I found my one true love...)
( Btw, Emibby, this is one, huge uke rant. ; U; )
Hey, Emi... I miss you so much I think I'm gonna explode... I love you so much and I'm such a mess when you're not talking to me or in any way connected to me... Love, I hate how we're so far apart, and I hate how we aren't allowed to talk to each other, and I hate your mother in general, but, this journal isn't about what I hate... It's about who (or of them, what) I love.
You're so gentle and sweet to me... You've never once yelled at me for being a total douchebag or a faggot and I love you so damned much. You've never left me alone when I went through my paranoia moments and you've never said anything bad about me in any way. I love you so much and I'm such a mess when you're not talking to me or in any way connected to me... Love, I hate how we're so far apart, and I hate how we aren't allowed to talk to each other, and I hate your mother in general, but, this journal isn't about what I hate... It's about who (or of them, what) I love. You've never critisized me and you've never told me you hated me. You've always kept my secrets and you've always helped me through every speedbump in this shitty life. (Well, it's shitty without you but when you're talking to me or here... It's something I'd never trade for anything, let's leave it at that.)
I love you so much, and everytime we are torn apart by third-parties, I always feel even more determined to talk to you, and I love you so goddamned much I think I'm gonna explode. I'm so incredibly pathetic without you; my heart hurts, I'm depressed and the only thing I can think about is you... It's so hard without you and oh my god, I don't know how many times I can say this, but I love you. You're the best damned thing that's ever happened to me, and I love how we've become so close in the span of a several months... I find that so incredibly... incredible; I've never loved anyone this way... I love you so much I'd be willing to lay my life on the ground to save you and I'd be willing to do anything for you... You're my precious love and nothing can replace you- not even my own life.
I don't get how you can stay so calm and caring even when I get paranoid or pissed off or anything like that, and I can't believe that you, of all people, of all the people in the world, chose me... I find it so hard to believe that you're finally mine and I find it so hard to believe that everytime I wake up in the morning, I know I'm loved somewhere over there, and I find it so goddamned hard to believe that you'd choose me; a stupid, irritating, temperamental, paranoid, retarded, stubborn ass.
But, even though it's hard to believe, it's true, and everytime I remember that, it makes me love you even more, and it makes me feel like our love is so much sweeter... I'm always paranoid, that every day, every hour, every minute, hell, every second, you're thinking about leaving me... I'm always so scared that I'd spontaneously get a text from you saying that it's over, or you never loved me and it hurts so bad... I'm always scared that this was all a fake and that you were just staging this just to play with my head...
I'm sorry, but I just do... I'm ust so damned scared that you'll leave me alone on the side of the road, and I' always scared that you really hate me and I'm always scared that every letter you send via mail or whipser would have a big, bolded "It's over." on it. I wouldn't be able to live after that... I love you so much... I've never felt this way- so close to someone, so close I'd be willing to give my life for them... Hell, I've never felt that way for my PARENTS.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I don't know what I'd do without you and baw, I just don't. You're the sweetest thing that's ever happened, and I hope, and I pray (Yes, me, the ATHEIST QUEEN, would pray) that, that if this was a dream, I'd never wake up from it, that I'd never have to leave you like this...
This morning, when your mom texted me, I prayed that you'd somehow, miraculously, text me back... And you did. Okay, I'm not gonna rant about Jesus or anything, ('cause even after that I don't believe in him).
But, even though it's hard to believe, it's true, and everytime I remember that, it makes me love you even more, and it makes me feel like our love is so much sweeter... I'm always paranoid, that every day, every hour, every minute, hell, every second, you're thinking about leaving me... I'm always so scared that I'd spontaneously get a text from you saying that it's over, or you never loved me and it hurts so bad... I'm always scared that this was all a fake and that you were just staging this just to play with my head...
I'm so glad you're mine, and I'm so glad that you'll always be mine (I hope...). I love you so damned much, and I know I keep repeating things but I can't help myself... I love how cheesy you are, I love how gentle you are, I love how smart you are, I love your hair, I love your laugh, I love how you always listen to me babble on about things that don't even matter to you, I love how you never critisize me, I love how you stay so calm and loving when I go through paranoia, I love how we have our own song after three days of going out, I love how we have so many little inside jokes, I love how you always write me letters because you know so damn well that I love them, I love how sweet you are, I love how you smile, I love how you're my seme, I love how we always ninja each other, I love how cuddly you are (<3), I love it when you want to hold me when I cry (or just hold me in general), I love it when we squeal over Skype, I love it when you text me, I love your hands that you use to text me, I love all of our memories, I love the clothes you wear, I love the house you live in (although I hate some of the people in it), I love how you are, I love all of your faults,I love how even through all these tough times; you never leave me, I love how you talk, I love how you walk, I love how we already have plans for college, I love how you tell me that you love me, I love how even when I break down crying, you try to stay so strong for me, I love how you never yell when I make a major mistake, I love how you love me, I love how we knew we loved each other so quickly, I love how you and I never had to ask in the beginning; we just knew, and most of all, I love you.
I just love you to the point I think I'm gonna explode.
I wish that you lived here or I lived there, I love you so much... I'm so glad that you're finally mine, after all these months that I tried so hard to get your attention. Everytime I think about you, my heart flutters and I squeal uncontrollably and I just can't help but gush to whoever's sitting besides me (homophobe or not) about how great you are and how sweet and loving you are... I love you so goddamned much... So please, don't ever leave me, cause I sure as hell won't leave you... Ever. If I ever decided to stray away from you, come to Cali with your dad's shotgun and shoot me dead- because I would never want to hurt you in such a way. (I'm sorry f I sound conceited right there, cause Iunno if you'll actually be sad or not but baw..)
Oh, and of course, I'd walk a thousand miles to see you, or talk to you, or prove to your parents I'm not who I really am and just to love you unconditionally, to cling to you and never let go because that's what I'd love to do... Tell you I love you every damn day, to kiss you on the cheek, to nuzzle you, to hug you, to go to school with you, to wake up in the morning and see your face... I just want to be so much closer... I'd gladly walk any amount of miles to be with you... At times like those, I just want to fly and land myself right in front of you and cling to you like my life depended on it (and I bet at that point, it WILL).
I love all our memories, I love how whenever someone says something that relates to anything NEAR our jokes, we burst out laughing. I love it when you ninja me, and I find it damn hysterical when we ninja each other... It just shows how connected we are... I love you...
I wanted to say thanks... Thanks for everything. Thanks for letting me see what true happiness is and thanks for putting up with all my shit. Thanks for always being there for me and thank you, especially, for loving me. Thank you for showing me how I should live life and thank you for just everything. Just, I can't say how much I love you and how much I thank you. Thank you for always being so gentle and sweet to me even when I'm the most hostile person in the world and thank you for never yelling at me (Although I'm pretty sure you wanted to at times.) Thank you for giving me something I've never had before.
I don't know how long this will go... so I'm gonna end it now, even though I have so many things to say....
I love you, Emily Berry. Stay with me for the rest of eternity.
Stephanie Choe.
- Mood:
Love Dazed - Listening to: Our Song...<3
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Stephanie, I love you now and forever
If not, you can strangle me with....pepperjack cheese? Idk
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I love FMA <3
TRUMPET PLAYERS ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!
GO 8TH GRADE BAND!
GO ROYALS! WHOOT!
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Join mah Soul Eater based Roleplay chat![link]
Put this in your sig if you laughed your arse off when you realized "Yagami" backwards is "I'm a gay"
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Love comes when manipulation stops; When you think more about the person than his or her reactions to you, when you dare to reveal yourself fully, when you dare to be vulnerable." ~Dr. Joyce Brothers
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Feel free to use my images, provided you give proper credit to the source. Thank you for respecting my work.
Thanks for all the faves~
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I think I just saw something... Black and furry...
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"THIS. IS. SPORKTAA-shot-" -me
"NO. IT IS NOT PORN IF SHE'S IN A BATHROBE." -me
"Yes. Cause we know how much getting 'brick'd' hurts right after getting 'shot'." -also me
I take requests.
Octovia&Haito are <3 ^w^
Sorano: *to Pride "BABY COME BACK."
:3
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i have taken the fangirl pleadge....should i ever break it in my art or storys, i give you permission to slap me.
"if you stand for nothing, nothing well save you"-me
...Learning spanish...
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Honestly,
I think it's kinda funny
That you waste your breath talkin' about me..
Got me feelin' kinda special...
Yeah, it's been FOREVER.
D:
and I'm taking French, lol, no espanol for moi D:>
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I'm in love with a girl named Emily Berry. <3
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